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It's So Hard to Love You: Staying Sane When Your Loved One Is Manipulative, Needy, Dishonest, or Addicted |  | Authors: Bill Klatte, Kate Thompson
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Category: Book
List Price: $14.95
Buy Used: $2.34
as of 3/21/2010 04:29 MDT details
You Save: $12.61 (84%)
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Seller: mcmillanbooks
Rating:  4 reviews
Sales Rank: 196131
Media: Paperback
Edition: 1
Pages: 186
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 8.8 x 5.9 x 0.5
ISBN: 1572244968
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9781572244962
ASIN: 1572244968
Publication Date: July 2007
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Most of us have someone in our life that we care about, but who is really hard to love: a spouse or sibling with an addiction or anger problem, a parent whose actions frighten or frustrate you, an adult child whom you feel makes the wrong choices over and over, or a friend or other relative who can't get it together. Just because someone you love has a problem, though, doesn't mean you stop loving him or her. You don't want to let go of this person, but you do want to stop getting hurt. This book--written by a brother-and-sister team--offers tools that will help you deal with the anguish of loving a difficult person while maintaining a sane relationship with him or her. Using the strategies in this book, you'll start to clearly recognize the negative effects your loved one's behavior is having on your life. You'll learn to accept that this person's actions may not ever change--but that your actions can. You'll find ways to shift your focus from changing the difficult person to changing your reactions to him or her. As you learn to deal with your difficult loved one on your own terms, you'll also learn techniques for managing the possible negative reactions that can arise from your changing relationship.
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| Customer Reviews:
Conscious Choices for a more Peaceful Life July 14, 2009
Rebecca Johnson (Washington State)
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
Are you tired of being manipulated, used, bullied or guilt-tripped? Is there someone in your life who is out of control and doesn't respect personal boundaries? You may be dealing with a "troubled loved one" or a TLO. These types of people can expect you to babysit at a minutes notice, may have mental problems that need medication or have drinking or anger problems. Some of the examples in this book include parents who are worried about their kids living on the street or have a troubled child living at home that needs to learn how to be independent. Whichever way you look at these problems this book has some interesting and empowering solutions that will lead you to a place where you are making conscious choices that create a more peaceful life.
Bill Klatte and Kate Thompson have written a very helpful book that will allow you to regain control of your life. They go over all the issues you are probably dealing with on a daily basis. They explain that you cannot always control a troubled loved one but you can control how you react. By taking charge of yourself you may inspire your TLO to start taking care of themselves too.
This might be a little overwhelming to read all in one sitting because there is so much journaling to be done. Part of the healing is realizing how you are part of the problem and journaling may bring you to this awareness. "It's So Hard to Love You" is more about loving yourself enough to get healthy and mentally stable and doesn't really deal with solutions for your troubled loved one's life. Bill Klatte and Kate Thompson explain how to be more assertive without blowing up. They teach basic and advanced communications skills that help you to set up boundaries so you are not being taken advantage of on a regular basis. Through the exercises presented you learn to manage your own emotions while at the same time lessening the anger in your TLO.
I'd recommend this book for anyone who has a person in their life who is making them emotionally unstable. Whether this is a friend, spouse, a child or a parent, this book has some very smart ways of dealing with troubling issues. The goal of this book is to lessen the stress in your life and I can say from personal experience that the TLO in your life may in fact change their bad habits once you start changing yours. You will notice less fighting, a sense of empowerment and a general feeling of peace once you start making the right decisions. It is true that you are the only person you can change and you will be amazed how this can in turn change how people treat you on a daily basis. Even one small change like withdrawing from an argument can have huge results.
Highly Recommended! The advice in this book works.
~The Rebecca Review
wife of an addict December 19, 2008
kelly richards
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I Loved this book and it helped me a great deal. I found myself lost and scared because my husband is addicted to gambling and cheating on me with women he meets on the internet. This book gave me courage. Im having less anxiety and more peace.
Excellent workbook on how to take care of yourself December 13, 2008
Mom of three (California)
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
This is the best self-help book I have found in all my searches on how to cope with my addicted, incarcerated adult son. Every feeling I had gone through the years with him, I saw in this book. I like the workbook aspect of the book. Writing my feelings and then how to deal with them on paper really helped me focus on how to take care of myself, and how to let go of my son's problems. I realize that his problems are his problems, but the book gave me the ability to really accept that I don't have to suffer along with him. It is truly liberating.
I hope it helps me August 26, 2008
Rose Marie Williams (California)
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I ordered this book because my boyfriend is one of those who is hard to love,, I have not had the time to read it all yet, but it came in excellent conditon and so far makes for a good read,, thank you
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